Autocorrect is my Worst Enema...by Gina Waite

Have you ever been at Walmart *picking up things and the autocorrect on your cell phone instead texted your children that you were "knocking up things?" My daughters response, "how does that happen Mom?" ... I actually decided NOT to respond back to her question!   How about the time you texted your brother that you just got your son "a real cheap girl" instead of a *gift for his birthday present!  You can imagine the response I got after that text!  Recently, I  have twice texted my brother, Jim, and been autocorrected to say that I was "finishing up another "Butshell" only to mean *Nutshell, the amazingly classy blog/fb page that my Mother tried so hard to promote!  How about indicating to your child's teacher that you intend to throw an "anal pottery" but truly meant *a small party!  Does this "Ring any Balls" or *bells for that matter?  If you answered "yes" to any of the aforementioned questions...You Too, have become as intimate with autocorrect as I have!

"Happy *Valentines Day," shortened in my text to a friend to "Happy V day"...ended up coming out with an Australian accent when autocorrect wrote, "Happy g'day"... her response, "Thanks mate!"  My son has recently been a casualty in an autocorrect fiasco gone wrong! He was texting a friend to ask if he had *bread for a church meeting on Sunday.  The friends response, "no, I don't have breasts!"  Well, duh, cute boy we already knew that!  Once, while staying at my parents house I meant to text my sister, "Dad and Mom have gone to *bed" but was overwritten by autocorrect when it spelled out "Dad and Mom have gone to breed!"  Oh dear...will this electronic nightmare of unintentional innuendos ever end?  How about congratulating an entire team of soccer players only to say, "Congratulations to a bunch of weiners"...couldn't autocorrect have thrown me a bone and spelled out *winners...This was an entire team we're talking about!

Autocorrect...the sometimes bane of my existence...has it's good points and it's challenges!  Those messes, the ones I've gotten into because of autocorrect, cause me to desperately need *caffeine but have texted, "cocaine!"  By the way...did any of you enjoy watching the Olympics?  I really enjoyed watching them this year; however, some of the events did give me "buttflies" instead of *butterflies! ....I especially enjoyed watching the "figure mating"...*skating!   "Happy Turd day" (*Thurdsay) everyone!  Catch you all on the flippity-flip!