Life has a funny way of helping you stay humble. It never fails that the moment I feel
confident that I’ve crossed all my “t’s” and dotted all my “i’s”…in reality I’ve
probably crossed and my “i’s” and dotted all my “t’s”! It’s humbling, and very necessary, to realize
that we really have very little control over all areas of our life. However, we DEFINITELY can choose how we
THINK and REACT…and I wish I could say I thought and reacted like an “adult”
about a month ago. All I can say is it started
with a squirrel…
Love my home…love where I live…and while we were gone for a
short get-away to visit my family to the West…an area squirrel moved into my flower beds and echoed my
sentiments. Imagine my disappointment
when I found most of my east-facing flower bed had been victim to a series of
underground tunneling…the likes of which could ONLY been compared to
Alcatraz! With much trepidation my
family helped me uncover huge holes and underground chambers that were deep
enough our biggest concern: the squirrel had possibly laid siege on our food
storage in the cellar-like crawl space on the east side of our house.
Our crawl space…a fantastic storage area that is clean,
leveled and well-lit…and on that day, completely void of any tunnels! However, was also completely under about a
half-inch of water! After the screams of
water-discovery, the deductive reasoning that a pipe had burst, a quick emergency
call to our trusty plumber and a well-used ShopVac’s magic…the freshly drenched
crawl-space was back to its pre-Bellagio state…now back to that squirrel.
Further investigation proved that our newly-acquired
neighbor had done damage in EVERY SINGLE GARDEN BED that borders our
property! The destruction to the gardens
was such a disappointment to this plant-loving princess that I had to retreat
to my house and start unpacking. As I
wheeled our empty luggage to our mechanical room/gym…I was overwhelmed at the
sewer-like smell coming from under the door.
As I opened the door, I realized that our sump-pump strap, that had
loosened over time, had finally gave way to the pressure that shot
unmentionable waste into the sewer system and had loosened a connection that
gave way to disgusting sludge on our painted concrete floor. Scream of discovery then ensued, another quick
emergency call to our plumber, quite possibly an entire GALLON of Lysol concentrate,
AND a well-used ShopVac’s magic returned the floor to its pre-poop state…now
back to that squirrel.
As I called our pest-control servicer and became more aware
of the difficulty in finding a pest control servicer that would deal with a
squirrel, the beads of sweat began to pool and trickle off my head. I realized our day had been filled with
excitement but it seemed unusually warm and void of any fresh breeze from our
air conditioning system…because surely our air conditioning system (tried and
true and void of any problems EVER before) was perfectly intact…or was it? The shock and disbelief that another
technical malfunction has besought our recently vacationed household was so
acute…I got in my car to drive to the nearest store to by squirrel-bait. En route to my local Walmart, and minutes
after the discovery that my normally smooth-as-silk driving Cadillac was riding
more like a Jeep, I pulled off the road and called my mechanic.
As I parked at the mechanic I realized I had only ten
minutes to call and schedule a repairman for our air conditioning unit…a unit
we were in desperate need of as we were hosting a wedding open house in just
three short days! My phone call to the
secretary started off normal and cordial…but as she communicated the difficulty
in getting a repairman out BEFORE the open house…I lost all sense of sanity…I
BECAME A NUT! They say about
three-quarters of the earth’s surface is covered with water…ABOUT HALF OF THAT CAME
FROM MY EYES AND NOSE THAT DAY!!! As I
sat at my mechanics shop, relating the happenings of the day, our dependence on
a lovely and cool setting for a wedding open house AND Satan’s squirrel (I
actually think I used that definition)…after a long pause and quite possibly
phone-covered laughter, that secretary took pity on me and a repairman was scheduled
first thing the NEXT morning!
That next morning, cleaning up my bedroom and in full view
of the backyard…I can neither confirm NOR deny that seeing the state of his
mother, and knowing of her dependence on a squirrel-free environment, that my
son (clad only in boxer-briefs and holding his paint ball gun) recognized the
squirrel had surfaced in the backyard garden directly under his window and had
a brief opportunity to take him out. Out
of the corner of my eye, recognizing the scantily-clad, stealthy-stalker, the
realization that ALL my neighbor’s teenage daughters were in view of said
stalker, I ran to the backyard to better understand the situation…only to
witness the demise of the squirrel. Now
I realize these were ALL first world problems I was experiencing that weekend,
and I suppose it’s a necessary evil to understand how blessed we are in having
modern conveniences to NOT have them for a time…but what I DO know with a
surety…that weekend inspired how a squirrel, AND a NUT, became a perfectly
entertaining NUTSHELL…hope you agree!!!!!
*Hope you'll let us share your stories and photos here at our residence "In a Nutshell." Email us at nutshellstories@gmail.com
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