"I'll Keep The Change"...by Gina Waite

Time has a funny way of passing rather quickly. What’s very irritating to me, lately…I don’t seem to remember a time in my life when I felt so rushed to get through my daily list of “to do’s” only to find the sun setting and I’m writing the next day’s list of “to do’s” to start over, yet again. Weeks are passing so quickly and the weekends, even quicker! I think I had barely gotten the hang of writing the year “2015” on my checks when we rang in“2016!” Does anyone else feel this ever-racing passage of time…is time actually moving faster? Perhaps the recent, unexpected trip my son, sister-in-law and I took to our local Urgent Care may have contributed to the reflective moments where I contemplated the speed of the last, 18 years.

As I was getting ready to take my out-of-town, visiting sister-in-law out for a fun day of shopping, lunch and discussion…I was somehow prompted that the day would present more plans for me than I knew about. Within two hours of my intended girl’s day, my cell phone rang with a calm but urgent voice of my son’s employer that there had been an accident and I needed to pick my son up rather quickly. Jordan, my 18 year old son, had smashed his finger to the point that the nail was completely lifted off and the nail bed and lacerations so extensive, that the top of his finger was being held on only by the pad of skin on his middle finger. My son joked about his accident as we drove to the local Urgent Care…and as he joked I drove, secretly hoping we wouldn’t have to go to the hospital.

As we sat there, my son receiving injections into his finger for numbing purposes…I couldn’t help just look at him. I was immediately transported back to the time my son was in the third grade when he was sitting in a hospital bed, just like present day, about to be wheeled-in for surgery. Tonsillitis is a VERY AWFUL thing, but when you’re eight years old and have had 12 bouts of strep throat in a six month period of time….it’s even WORSE!!! As he sat there, eight-year-old, pre-anesthesia Jordan, fearing the unknowns of surgery, I remember him pleading with me NOT to make him go in.

I love my son! I think he is talented, brilliant, gorgeous and THE BEST SIBLING my daughter could ask for! Looking into his big, beautiful blue eyes as he pleaded with me NOT to make him go in…I couldn’t help thinking that this momentary pain would be for THE GREATER GOOD. In his unknowing, inexperienced state… he had no idea of the relief he would feel from NOT having to deal with strep throat, again. I stroked his beautiful, naturally-curly hair and reassured him that surgery was necessary pain that would help him grow into the strong, strep-throat-resisting version of himself. He continued to plead until they wheeled him away, “Mom, please don’t make me go!”

This past week has been a momentous change in our lives. My son, 18 year old Jordan...and his now, healed finger...packed and readied himself for the adventure that lies ahead!

Off to college to learn, grow and succeed. As we collected the things he would need to live on his own, I couldn’t help but see the growth I have experienced by being a Mother. Oh, how I will miss him…of course I don’t want him to have to experience any kind of life’s inevitable pain…but to keep him from progressing and heading in the self-sustaining direction he’s headed would NOT be for the greater good! I watched as he drove away signing, “I love you” through his car window. Friends, I don't want him to go as my heart feels pain but I know this is for the greater good, this is exactly the change Jordan needs. Yes, I’ll keep the change!

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