Monday, June 15, 2015

If you ever see Mary Hazlett

Have you ever dipped your toe into a pool of water and watched as the ripples move?  Watching this phenomenon, I ponder how far reaching the effects are with such a small and simple thing as barely touching the water. 

With yet another Mother's day come and gone, I took the time to reflect on my mother as well as my own opportunity of motherhood.  From a storage bag, I gently removed the letters and notes that my mom had given me over the years.  I read them, cried on them, smelled them, and even hugged them as each one brought back a memory.  The card my mom gave me with the birth of my first child still plays the lullaby when you open it.  One note in particular is my favorite...and it was not given to me in an envelope or for any special reason.  

My mother loved little notebooks and she collected many.  The one that I am specifically remembering is pictured here and hung in my mother's sewing room for years.  Its home was on a pin, just above my mother's sewing machine.  I often spent time with my mother in her sewing room.  I loved to watch her create beautiful things.  She was very determined in making things just right... I got to pick out several seams in my day.  

Knowing the hours my mother would be spending sitting at her sewing machine, I wrote a note to my mom in this little notebook that read, "Mom if you ever see this, I love you lots!"  Gauging by the handwriting I would guess that I was only 12 years old.  I knew my mom would see that note at a time she was working and quite possibly frustrated with a project... and perhaps needed a little encouragement.  It made me happy knowing I could help her even a little.

Well, the years did pass as they always do and I had forgotten about that little note.  And for any of you that has lost a loved one, you know what happens when you enter into the home of your lost loved one.  First you go around the house touching everything that they might have touched, smelling their things, and closing your eyes imagining that they are there with you.  I did this too... and the first place I went was to my mother's sewing room.  I sat on her chair, closed my eyes to imagine my mom there with me and when I opened them I saw the notebook.  I reached for the notebook and lifted the front cover.  Inside was that little note I had wrote to my mother all those years ago...stapled to the cover of the notebook with this response, "Mary if you ever see this, I love you lots too!  Mom OX".

With tears beyond control, I thanked our Father for that little note.  I thanked Him for such a mother who cherished those little things and gave her love so willingly back to me.  For who would have guessed that 21 years earlier that this small note would be so profound to a hurting daughter...a daughter that needed her mother's words and strength at that very moment.   I will forever cherish that little notebook.  

So I too would love to be that kind of mother to my three darling children.  For I see how fortunate I am to have these beautiful children and to experience motherhood.   I can only hope that I may be the kind of mother my mom I will begin by saying to my darling children:  If you ever see this ... I love you lots and thank you for making me a mother!