Monday, September 23, 2013

ARRIBA!!! ...


Marlene Terry
KLUTZ /klets/ noun, informal 
1. a clumsy, awkward of foolish person.
2. A person who is never without a scrape or bruise, always finding  ways to trip, bump into things and people. 
... And on occasion, a klutz will also partially knock themselves out by walking into walls, doorways, and corners or cabinets and desks.
Synonyms: stumblebum, butterfingers, spaz.

Yep! That's me. ... All of it. And I've been a victim of "klutzism, stumblebumness and the spaz syndrome for ... as long as I can remember.

I mean how else would you describe a mature, full grown woman, who regularly puts out a step stool in front of the pantry door in order to reach the top shelves, forgets all about it and then trips over it when she brings in the groceries from the car, causing the contents of the sacks to spew onto the hard, tile floor ... scattering, opening and breaking?

It's the story of my life.

I can also fall off my shoes, high heels of course, but don't forget flats, sneakers and even sandals.
Like the time that I, carrying just one very small carry-on bag at a very busy airport, turned my ankle, and performed an awkward arms flailing, running pirouette trying to remain balanced and upright. 
The effort failed. And in the process, I also knocked over a newspaper stand ... and one very frightened, unsuspecting elderly passenger.

It's difficult to explain especially to those closest to you. ... Those who have no choice but to stand by you and defend you even in the embarrassment of seeing you spread eagle on a floor, emerging from a bathroom at a very public place with the back of your skirt neatly tucked into the top of your pantyhose, or supporting "tongue-in-cheek" your desire to "ZUMBA" dance your way to fitness ... in the kitchen of-all-places.

... And you can believe me when I say, when you're a klutz, there's nothing that will cause you to propel yourself into an open cabinet door, jam it into the wall, and split it completely in half faster, than the strong beats of that wonderful Latin music! 
..."ARRIBA!" 

♦ Hope you'll let me share YOUR stories and photos here at my residence "In a Nutshell." Email me at nutshellstories@gmail.com.