Friday, October 4, 2013

The Mountain Man office ...

Marlene Terry
Watched with a giddiness I hadn’t felt for awhile when my hubby began the process of packin’ up everything in sight in order to head for the hills on a camping trip.  
And it was for more than my being happy for him that he could do something he really loves. It was also for me and the fact that this time, I didn’t have to go.

It isn’t that I don’t love being out-of-doors. I do. But most times I prefer doing it while happy and comfortable, riding down a paved road INSIDE our warm car.
 “But you can’t really get a feel for what’s out there if you never get OUT there,” my hubby tells me repeatedly.

The truth is, through the years I found out plenty about what’s out there and some of it ... well ... take for instance those outdoor restrooms, crannies, and Johns. ... Even saw a makeshift sign on one that stated that particular 3x3-foot cubicle with part of the roof missing was a "Mountain Man Office."

Whatever they're called, it's disturbing to stand outside one and know what's going to happen when you go in.
Even those that are well cared for and reasonably clean, require deep breathing exercises in order to have enough oxygen stored up so you won't have to inhale too much during your visit. It also helps to have combat arm movement skills in order to keep at bay, the 2-3 dozen flies awaiting your presence.
... Most important of all ... you need to bring your own supply of toilet paper.

There's nothing that can make you feel quite so helpless as noticing ... too late ... that the toilet paper roll provided on the holder inside has just one square left, ... and its GLUED IN PLACE TO THE CARDBOARD TUBE!
... Really. The sight of something like that can shut down a person's system for several days.

To summarize, I want you to know that  I’m more than happy to spend the whole afternoon in the hills, picnicking, hiking and/or 4-wheeling. And I’m right there along side my hubby, awestruck, with the wonderful sights and sounds of wildlife, and tiny streams rushing together for a meeting at a lovely waterfall.

... But after the hours pass by and nature REALLY begins to call, then I just prefer to be traveling at a high rate of speed toward home.

And why?

... For a meeting of my own, without SOME of the smells of the great outdoors and being up close and personal with SOME of the wildlife (flies). ... Safe in a beautiful place that's outfitted with plumbing that's INDOORS!

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