Thursday, January 23, 2014

Speak in shorter Gina Waite

I have an amazing's almost a super power!  I, Gina Waite, can turn any idea, story or comment into the longest, most elaborate and wordy expression anyone ever thought of taking the time to create (Exhibit A: the sentence you just read.)  I am the Validator of Verbal Vomit and have found a word to describe my Vernacular: 

...which means...the quality of using more words 

than needed; wordiness.

My Tommy (who smartly declined from agreeing or disagreeing with my aforementioned gift) quickly came to terms with my super power not long after we met!  Since then,  we have LAUGHED and LAUGHED in dealing with situations that have risen, due to my diction!

Take for example the time we decided to start family calendering on Sunday evenings with a brief recap of the days activies at the start of the day!  Family calendering was an idea given me from a highly effective book with suggestions for highly effective families.  One morning, while recapping...we tried to rearrange some events given an unforeseen caveat.  Having originally planned our schedule with the luxury of  a two-car household, we realized we were down to one car for the day and needed to coordinate a little differently!  WE could do this...for WE were a highly effective family!  After detailing all the hustle, bustle and busy-ness of the days activities...all whilst using "MY WORDS" hubby's mind turned to mush and my voice "white noise" to his ears.  Through the pupil of his eyes,  I swear I could see the green grass and blue water of the 12th hole at "The Masters" golf tournament that were playing out in his mind.  I recognized the glossed-over "deer in headlights" look and I so I asked Tom if he needed clarification as to the days events.  Confidently, and with a kiss on my cheek, he said, "you worry too much," with that he took our children out to the van to get them buckled in.

As I was grabbing the last of the things I needed before my husband was to taxi all of us to our various destinations, I heard what I thought was the garage door opening...AND CLOSING!  Surely my husband was checking to see if the lasers on the garage door were aligned properly OR perhaps he was testing the tension so as not to trap one of our children underneath the forceful spring of the door...after all, we were a highly effective family!  Much to my surprise, I walked out into the garage to find my husband, children, only vehicle...GONE!  Perhaps he got a call from a neighbor who needed help...was my first thought.  Maybe we ran the gas too low and he wanted to quickly, and effectively, run the van to the gas station to fill up. 

Thoughts of several Dudley Do-Right scenarios went through my mind until I made the decision to call a person located at our first destination.  A person who was counting on my hubby and me to be highly effective in helping her with a previously scheduled field trip that day.  I remember my call to my daughter's amazing preschool teacher..."Hi Mrs. McKellar!  Has Tommy happened to drop our daughter off at pre-school yet?"  I still remember her quick response in saying, "Gina, he's here...but weren't you planning to come with him today so you could...."  I stood there realizing that my husband had completely forgot me and that I would have to admit, in longer sentences than this poor pre-school teacher had ever been subjected to, that our highly effective family was not going to be effective that day!  "Ellen, may I speak with Tommy?"  The conversation went as follows:

Tom: "Hi Gina are you?"

Gina: "I'm well Tommy...I'm well...Ummmm....does the fact that you are speaking with me on the phone instead of talking with me in person conjure up any thoughts at all?"
...........LONG PAUSE..........(a possible mental revisitation of the golf course could be inserted here)
Gina: " you remember what we are suppose to do together today?"
..........LONG PAUSE...........

Speak in shorter's not my favorite thing to do but I learned a lot from my hubby that day.  First, to laugh at what you can't control and second, as long as my family loves me for who I am (and the words I choose to use) I can't help but be highly effective!  Watch what I learned from this life lesson...I'm going to end my hilarious Nutshell by using a condensed phrasing of what I'd really like to say........

"The End!"